You may say that the world is huge, but if you're curious enough you would say that it's a small world that we're living in.
When you were a kid, you copy what your parents say or do to you. It was always so interesting mimicking them. They laugh at how adorable you are, you feel that you're a grown-up by copying everything you see. Isn't it a sad feeling that when you were a kid, you would always want to grow up fast and you would always want for the grown-ups to see you as an adult. Yet, here we are, an adult and missing the time when we were a kid. How simple everything is back then, how you would cry because you fell out of your bicycle, how happy you were when your parents gave you candy, a toy, or a barbie. That the problem you had as a kid is you lost your pen/pencil every couple of days at your school.
Face it, you are an adult now and the world is not that beautiful like you imagined when you were a kid. Surely, there are tons of happiness, excitement, and the beauty of being an adult. But the responsibility that one's carries as an adult is also burdening. You need to act in certain ways so that people will take you seriously. You need to achieve something at a certain age so you will feel that you made it. Society is taking a big part in how you carry yourself out in the world. Overthinking, frustration, anxiety, depressed, scared of failure, or whatever it is, is what you consume daily. All you do is, to make you feel that you belong in this small world.
"What if?" those 2 words feel scary when you think about it deeply.
What if by the time you turn at a certain age, you couldn't achieve your dreams?
What if you act impulsively and regret things that you do?
What if you don't try hard enough and you lost that one chance you have?
What if you're just staying silent and do nothing, then what happens next is not what you've imagined it to be?
What if you want something so bad yet you're so scared to take the first step?
What if you don't fit in that box but you desperately trying to fit in, then you regret not being yourself?
See what I meant by how scary the words "what if" actually are? The contemplation one feels determines the next step is. But then again, the burden that one's carries feels bigger every step of the way hence one's acts extremely carefully. Or one's don't act at all.
Notice that when you were a kid, you copy everything you see and everything you hear. But once you're an adult, and you know what you want or what you want to become (and it's different than you're surrounding), but the society tells you otherwise? How strange and different the past and the future are?
There is no definitive answer to these random thoughts that one's has. But I do know that you will keep on trying to fit in, trying to find the silver lining in this life, trying to find the balance to keep you sane, and trying to find your happiness.
